So I read this blog (linked below) and just thought it was an amazing comment on our society and its opinions on people judging others based on size. I am a bigger person. I was smaller before I got pregnant, only about 20 pounds away from the ideal weight for my height. To get to that weight I ate 600 calories or less per day, and exercised for at least an hour every night. I was basically an exercise bulimic. If I ate more than 600 calories I exercised more to lose those extra calories. I know this is not a healthy habit, but it was the one time in my life I felt acceptable as a person. I got to shop in the cool little boutiques and buy little people clothes, it was a golden time. The doctors didn’t care how I was losing the weight just that it was going away. I would currently do the same thing all over again; given the time (yes, I am aware that is bad). As it is I have a 2 year old and can only go to the gym for about an hour 3 days a week. I will freely admit that I ate terribly when I was pregnant (cake, it is my weakness) and gained FAR too much weight (damn you pregnancy heartburn that only cake did not aggravate). I am losing the baby weight slowly and it is killing me. I miss being able to just walk and jog until I see 600 calories on the treadmill monitor and know that I had negated everything I ate that day. Like most bigger people I have a total love/hate relationship with food. It tastes so good and I tend to eat my feelings, but the guilt that comes after eating almost anything can be overwhelming.
I often wonder if people think about their words when they comment on another’s weight. Even saying to someone with lifelong weight issues “Are you losing weight? You look great!” can be a loaded statement. I know most people intend it to be kind or even empowering, but to someone like me it brings on the guilt that I no longer look like I used to and that is physically painful. Harsh comments are so much more painful now too. A pre-teen told me the other day that I wasn’t THAT fat. Great, thanks! I know she was trying to be nice, but come on! I guess I am just trying to say, why are comments on weight are needed at all? If someone opens up a conversation regarding their diet or workout regimen fine, forge ahead boldly! But what is the need to bring it up? You never know when a comment made will send someone home to a dozen cookies followed by a bout of self-loathing inspired purging until the vomit burns their sinuses and their teeth are sore. Just love, that’s all-Lola
Below are pictures of me at my skinniest subsisting on 600 cal./day Worth it?
 |
| notice there are no bites out of the donut |
 |
| Oh designer jeans how I miss you :( |
I don't care, I still think you are beautiful!!! *muah*
ReplyDelete