Today’s issue of “If I Had A Band” has it’s basis in a
discussion I had the other night in which I was mocked for only liking “pop
punk” (I do like all forms of punk, however am SHIT at remembering band names
so I could only name the more popular bands). In response I said “What so I don’t
like bands with pierced scrotum so I AUTOMATICALLY have to be branded as a “pop
punk” fan?” Then the hilarity ensued. The following is the band I have created in
reaction to that conversation..Pierced Scrotum, a band full of screamo punk
ex-boy band members. Instead of having pierced
scrotum to personify their band, they had the band name tattooed on their
penises (penii, penis’, panninis?), because irony. The drummer wears a gimp mask and performs on
a porta potty seat so he can multi-task and the lead singer lives in his
parents’ basement. They only perform in
abandoned homes and burn them to the ground after the show.
