Time to Wake Up/aka the longest blog EVER!

   How does one talk about the end of an era?  The first national tour of American Idiot this past 6 months has been an overwhelming whirlwind of rage and love and Idiots.  As I sit here at work snuggled in my AI hoodie my heart is full and my eyes are spilling over with joy.  My last real post was at the start of the tour and I had no idea what an impact this tour cast would have on my life. As soon as the curtain dropped in Detroit I knew I had to find a way to see it again.  Much like a crack addict looking for their next hit, I became obsessed with getting more of it as soon as possible!  It was not only, the joy that I found in the show, but also the sense of family that was starting to blossom with this cast and the way they related to their fans.

   Kelvin was and will always be our favorite (Taco Club 4evz!)  but other people had begun to creep in as well. Talia, and Scott, Jake, and Nicci all became people I wanted to see again regardless of the show.  Resources were pooled and a plan was made for North Carolina.  It was to be Little Will's first Idiot and he was bouncing with excitement!  We also discovered that Kelvin's Birthday was around the time we would be going. Guuurl, you know we went cake crazy!  We made cupcakes with heart shaped hand grenades for the cast and Kelvin got his very own taco cake.  It wasn't about getting anything in return it was just about showing a little bit of love to this wonderful cast that was beginning to feel like family.  Kelvin LOVED his cake and ended up taking us on a tour backstage which was just so sweet of him. 

Why am I the only one in sunglasses in our pictures!

   Little Will is now probably as much of an Idiot as his Mommy and talks endlessly about Nicci the pretty angel that flies, and silly Scott who sings "the underwear song", he makes me sing Idiot to him at nap time, screams "SUX TO BE YOU TOO!" at me in Wal-Mart when he doesn't get his way, and has begun his own choreo routines to the songs (watch out revival).  We also got to enjoy the extra-curricular musical styling of the bass player Dan Grennes at his band's (Uncle Pumpkin) CD release party where a few of the cast members performed as well.  It was epic and now I find myself singing "Heeeeeey Uncle Pumpkin" at random moments!  And of course the addiction kicked in again as the cast started asking where they were going to see us next.   I need to point out that we had originally only planned to go to Detroit and San Francisco but at every stop we kept needing to see the cast more and more (seriously we're like meth heads for this cast).

   St. Louis was decided on based on my Shakespeare rehearsal schedule, and the need not to look like complete stalkers by being at every stop, we TRY to keep the crazy in control.  So at this point I am completely obsessed with Kelvin and his fabulousness, Scott and his wonderful Tunny and super sweet stage door self, and Jilli's Too Much Too Soon that is so awesome it makes me want to hit things!  The night we were supposed to leave for St. Louis there were awful tornadoes in my town, one set down about a mile from my house causing us to lose power.  Once the storm had passed we were still without power and I HAD to make Jilli her PB&J cupcakes and take a shower, so I sent out an SOS on FB to any of my friends w/ power.  We loaded up the car at 8 at night and went to a friend's house across town that hadn't been hit like I had.  We were back at the house about midnight before we started our 6 hour drive to St. Louis at 4 a.m.  We were going to rush both shows then drive home that night, therefore negating the need for a hotel.  Are you shocked that when we got there plans changed VERY swiftly? 

   Jarran Muse fresh in from an injury had taken over the role of Favorite Son, we met him at stage door and after Hello and one hug we were hooked!  He is seriously the WORLD'S BEST HUGGER!  A Jarran hug will stay with you for hours.  At Stage Door we were introduced to families and travel stories were shared then the cast started asking us how long we were staying, when we mentioned we were leaving that night we were essentially laughed at and told that in fact we would be staying through Sunday, Jarran even offered us his comps (seriously, we love Jarran).  So I got out my phone and found a hotel and we got a three show weekend full of goofy ass pictures and headlocks. 

You know you want it!

   Then began the TORTUROUS 2 month wait for Dallas, it was terrible.   I started a countdown app on my IPhone, and lived off cast tweets like they were food and water.  We finally got to Dallas on a Friday afternoon, the rush was really weird and the seats were best available.  After being so spoiled to front rows it was odd.  We didn't see the show that night, but did head to stage door for the requisite hugs.  At which point we were yelled at for not coming to the show, we thoroughly apologized for going to get wasted instead of coming to see them and told them we would be there for both shows on Sat and the Sun mat.     After the Sat mat we decided to go back to the hotel pool until the night show as opposed to going to stage door, for which were yelled at again.  So we said fine we will be at every stage door from now on and we better not get shit for it! 

  Saturday night we got BLITZED in the theatre bar before the show and the show became this whole new experience (we had lucked out with 1st row seats and the cast was tweeted about our #drunkfirstrow status prior to curtain).  I am pretty sure we annoyed at least 10 people around us while Kelvin flashed us boob and Jen and Gabe ate each other's faces.  Afterwards (when we were a bit more sober) we had the pleasure of seeing Stark Sands (OBC) at stage door as well as meeting more fabulous family members.  Sometimes I think they introduce us to their families so they can be all "See I told you there were crazy people following us around the country!".  We went out to a bar called The Spread Eagle that night (which made the 12 year old boy who lives in my head ECSTATIC!) and had a great chat with Dan (Grennes) and watched Oke get his drank on, once he found out we were the "Kelvin screamers who bring treats" he hug attacked us.  Getting a hug from Oke is like getting a hug from a massive tree (which is saying a lot as I am 6'2" and "not delicate") it’s amazing! 

  We went to sun matinee (I was drunk again, $1 mimosas are the devil) and got to see Tommy in Larkin's track from the second row.  Holy Hell!  That boy is astounding!!  I was in love immediately!  There were shoes flying, nipples pinched, and shit lost and when it was over made our final stage door appearance for 6 weeks.  There were so many fabulous hugs and for the first time, no winter coats in the pictures. 

Oh Tommy McDowell how do I love thee, let me count the ways~

   It was finally here the weekend we had been anticipating and dreading for 6 months, San Francisco.  We had discovered that a twitter friend of ours was going to be in the city so we made plans to meet up with her and her group of friends.  It was the best decision we could have made.  We met the coolest group of Idiots on the planet and had a complete blast the whole weekend. 

Idiot family love

   Due to insane rush lines most of our time in San Francisco was spent sitting on the sidewalk with them relishing our season of rage and love.  The weather was perfect and, aside from the crazy ass aggressive homeless people and the bird shitting on me, rush line was something I'll remember with fondness forever.  I always thought I would be an absolute mess for the final show, little did I know it would be the Saturday night show that destroyed me. 

Tenderloin Rush Line Realness

   I sat there consumed with wracking sobs covered in tears and snot from about 10 minutes in through curtain call.  It was the only curtain call I didn't stand for, because I physically couldn't.  By the time Good Riddance started I had myself together enough to scream for Kelvin but I looked at Scott J. Campbell and he mouthed "Are you OK?" and I lost it again. I realized this was the end of this magical thing that had grown for the past 6 months.  I saw my Little Will in Johnny and I was Johnny's Mom and all I wanted was for my little boy to be ok.  All I wanted was for Johnny to find his hope.  I cried for the emptiness of Will, for the desperation of Tunny, for the waste of Johnny.  I cried for the actors that I had grown to love that would never be all together again, I cried for the family I had gained through this entire beautiful experience. 

   With my heart still in my eyes I met them outside the hugs that night were long and lingering.  The connection that had grown over the past months was such that we didn't even have to talk just being there was enough.  I am always amazed at the power of touch, the comfort it gives, the unspoken communication that binds two people even closer together. 

   Closing was wonderful, we were all together with our new Idiot family and we bought flowers for our cast and while I teared up and welled over I felt I had passed through the pain the night before and could enjoy the beauty of the cast and show that I loved.  My heart would hurt when a cast member would sing to me or stare at me while playing a song or make a special dance move up or practically jump into our lap off the stage, but it was always followed by a secret little smile of joy and contentment. 

   Stage door was hard; it was overrun for the first time with rude people who were aggressively shoving people out of the way.  I don't do well in crowds and didn't want the craziness to interfere with my goodbye to these people who had changed my life for the past six months.  I retreated about halfway down the sidewalk and waited, hopeful they would stop on their way out.  They goodbyes were tearful and joyful, funny and sad.  So many #feelingz at one time it is difficult to describe.  There is nothing I could ever do that would be enough to show this cast how much I simply adore them and how much of an impact they had on my life.  I will treasure my memories of my Idiot cast and family and hope that someday they smile remembering the freaks that followed them around the country and ugly cried from the front row.

For this tour and cast alone,

10,000 miles traveled

53 hours spent driving

6 airports

3 Natural Disasters

And yes I had the time of my life.

Scott J Campbell you truly are the sweetest.

P.S. I was wrong about being done with crying.  I alienated some elderly people next to me on the flight from San Jose to Las Vegas the next day, when I overheard someone make an Idiot reference and sobbed for the entire 1 hr. and 9 min. of the plane ride. Still too many #feelingz

An Idiot Valentine

Happy Valentine's Day!  Rage and Love! Click the link for Lola's special valentine's message to you!             Idiot Valentine

American Idiot Tour, a.k.a. Scott J Campbell made me cry.

     I find it hard sometimes to blog about things that impact me emotionally, hence I post my creative writing as an outlet for interpretation.  But I shall give it a go because American Idiot has been this life changing force in my life for almost 2 years now and I have yet to write about it, other than in a cursory mention in a post or by posting my poetry or character sketch.
     The OBC was stunning, and will always hold a special place in my heart.  They initiated the characters and built their stories.  They brought fresh emotion every night based on their strength as actors and love and attachment to the character.  I am a die hard Michael Esper fan and his Will tore me to pieces repeatedly.  I identify with his character the most as my emotions with my pregnancy and subsequent single parenthood mirrored Will's lonliness and desperate hopelessness.  That is not to say that my Little Will is not the best and brightest thing to ever be a part of my life.  But the feelings surrounding my situation led me to spend many a night on the couch with tears streasming down my face wondering why I was alone and drowning in the feeling that nobody cares.  "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" is usually when the tears start for me.  The other characters have always been sidenotes to me for the story of Will.
     That all changed with the First National Tour.  My friend, and fellow Idiot road tripper, looked at me after we saw the show in Detroit this past weekend in shock and said, you've never cried for Tunny before!  And it is true.  Tunny was always a character that I found upsetting but I never really felt the emotion involved in his story.  I won't blame that on anyone but myself.  The actors that I have seen portray Tunny are all talented individuals with wonderful voices and believable emotion, yet I never really connected with the story line.  But when Scott J. Campbell desperately threw out Tunny's "You saved my fucking life" I knew I was in for a rough ride.
     This time I could see that Johnny was Tunny's only hope for escaping his life and he went to this new city and Johnny was yet another lie in his life.  The sheer emotion in "We Are the Waiting" when he states that "the Jesus of suburbia is a lie" gave me this sense of soul deep loss.  Scott gave Tunny a desperation and hope that I could identify with, as a viewer.  He wore well Tunny's pain and anger and gave new life to a character that  I had never understood before.   I think one of the most intense moments of the entire show, for me, was at the end of "Before the Lobotomy-reprise"  when Tunny is getting pulled offstage on his gurney and he is screaming in pain.  The melodic agony was filled with not only the pain of his injury but seemed to be a primal scream filled with the loss and disappointment of a lifetime.
     After the show, I was lucky enough to get a chance to say hello to Scott, I tried to tell him how affected I was by his performance.  However, I was still so overwhelmed by it that I fear my words were insufficient, even this is only a portion of what I felt and a miniscule sample of the pure talent that Scott leaves on the stage every show.

Scott J. Campbell

      I truly enjoy seeing every cast member's performance, it is difficult because oftentimes there is so much going on at once it is hard to catch it all.  Some highlights of Detroit included Talia Cantoo NAILING "Too Much Too Soon".  (This is one of Little Will's favorite parts of the show and he likes to do the tongue stick out, I am so excited that he gets to see it soon, we are already practicing the fact that he will have to tell people at Idiot that he is 5 ;) so he can get in.)  I also LOVED watching Kelvin dance he is funny and exciting, and  just a sweet charming individual, and the president of the taco club (inside joke :P).  Jake Epstein was fabulous as Will, he was sort of ADHD Will, but funny.  I wish I was cool enough to hang out on the couch with him during "Favorite Son", their look of fear when Favorite Son smiles made me laugh so hard I snorted.  Although I was so disappointed to find I had not gotten a picture with him at stagedoor. :(

Kelvin and his fan club love fest

Over the course of time I have learned a few things about going to see American Idiot. 

#1 Stop drinking liquids 2 hours before the show starts and pee immediately before it starts as it is a 90 minute show w/ no intermission (that was a difficult/painful lesson to learn)
#2 Bring tissues...lots and lots of tissues
#3 Makeup is a joke and I will look like a dead hooker when the show is over if I wear it
#4 There is no "house left and right" there is "couch side" and "Stark side" (which I am amending to Scott side)
#5 Cast members like glitter and get jealous of other cast members who receive things covered in it.
#6 American Idiot is like crack, as soon as it is done, you will be trying to scheme on ways to get to see it again as soon as possible...of course I guess that kind of makes it like sex too...

SO we have scrounged our money, and we are going to North Carolina in 10 days.  Little Will will see his first live performance of Idiot and is WAY more excited than any sane 3 and a half year old should be "We go see 'mer'can didiot today?!".  We will be driving up 6 hours seeing the show, napping in the car, attempting to rush to see it again, Hopefully seeing it again, then driving 6 hours home that night.  Crazy, you may say...lets just say last weekend we drove through a blizzard/ice storm to Detroit (9 hours) for it.  This should be a piece of cake!  Well readers, as we say in the world of American Idiot...Rage and Love, Lola

Farewell to my 20's

Well it is here, the last day of my 20's.  While I don't mourn them per se, I am looking back and seeing how much I have learned in the past 10 years.  I don't feel 30 (you know the 30 you perceived when you were younger, with Mom jeans, sensible shoes, copious amounts of wine, and a general sense of fatigue and world weariness...ok maybe the wine).  How is 30 supposed to feel?  If any of you can tell me that I would greatly appreciate it.  Here are 20 things I learned in my 20's that I would like to share...

1.  I learned to stop hating my forehead and grow out the bangs...with the exception of when I was pregnant and went temporarily insane and thought they would make me look like Heidi Klum, they did not.

2.  I learned that high heels are not for height, they are for perkier buttocks and slimmer looking legs.

3.  I learned that a gay bar is a straight girl's best friend.  The dude's leave you alone and the girls are usually with their partners and leave you alone too.  You get to wear obscene amounts of glitter and it looks normal, and no matter how poorly you dance, no one cares, its all about having fun!

4.  I learned that just because he's fab in the sack, doesn't make him worth it, cause God has a quirky sense of humor.

5.  I learned that it is ok to love someone you don't even know and to measure every other guy against them, It will keep you out of some stupid situations, and put you in some wonderful ones...usually involving twitter, NYC, and the world's best pick up line.

6.  I learned that the person you loved when you entered your 20's can take most of them to get over, but on the other side you might learn a lesson.

7.  I learned strippers don't like being bitten

8.  I learned to MOISTURIZE, MOISTURIZE, MOISTURIZE

9.  I learned that when you start to get the spins...STOP DRINKING!  It only gets worse from there.

10.  I learned Vanilla Ice is super fun to do Jaegar Bombs with.

11.  I learned that the guy that comes to your house to watch movies with you, is always there when you need him, and makes you smile, he's the one you should be with...not the douche-bag that never returns your calls, and if you miss your chance, it will probably never come again.

12.  I learned that Mom is usually right...as is Cara.

13.  I learned to enjoy my own company, you will spend much time alone, dinners, movies, holidays, and birthdays.  And it is ok.

14.  I learned that to live and not to breathe is to die in tragedy (Thank you GD).

15.  I learned that the Muppets teach important life lessons.

 16.  I learned that my butt is a good thing.

17.  I learned that no matter how old you are, getting someone to pull your finger is STILL HILARIOUS!

18.  When it fits, buy them ALL!  Every color, in multiples.  True fit is a rarity.

19.  Buying yourself flowers is not pathetic.  Making yourself happy is a GREAT thing.

20.  No matter what, believe in yourself, true friends and love are hard to find, and treasure everything you have all the time because it can all be gone in an instant.

Love, Lola

Dancing into my 30's

My angry e-mail

I did it, it finally happened, I lasted almost a year until I lost my shit with these damn college students...following is an ACTUAL e-mail that I sent yesterday afternoon to every student (grad and undergrad) in my major.

ATTENTION!

Your alternate pin for Fall is the same as the one you used to register for your summer classes.  If you have lost it PLEASE see the attached instructions.  This will hopefully save us all a LOT of time.  Also, in the future, when you get advised for summer you are to get advised for fall as well (UNDERGRAD AND GRADUATE).  That is what early advising and registration is for.  We are here all summer for you to contact about fall registration.  There is NO reason I should be seeing ANY returning students getting advised for the first time, 2 days before classes start (yes, you may hang your head in shame).  This time is for new incoming students to meet with their advisors.  I trust that next time we go through this you all will use this knowledge to your advantage and save me from an early death by aneurysm.  Thank you, Lola ECE Secretary

Below is the attachment:

LOST YOUR ALTERNATE PIN???????

 OH NO!

8 easy steps to find it on your own

1. Go to Eagle online

2. Sign in

3. Select “Registration”

4. Select “Select Term”

5. Select the appropriate semester

6. Click “Submit”

7. Select “View Banner ID (T#), Registration Times, Advisor…”

8. TADA!!!!! You’re a BIG kid now!

A house update!

I figure it is about time for another house update.  I have gotten a few more areas painted, and only want to repaint one of them, so I figure I am doing pretty well.  Dad moved in (apparently temporarily) so I had to rush to get that room done.  It was painted Pepto and Barbie-puke pink stripes.  First step was to sand the entire room.  When a pattern is painted on a wall it leaves a small ridge of paint that, when painted over will show through (please don’t paint patterns on your walls then try to sell your house, it truly pisses off the new owners).  After it was sanded I had to then wash the walls and trim work to get all the sanding dust off so the tape would adhere.  I got the room taped off, did two coats of primer and two coats of paint and voila!  A pale grey room that will look very nice when Dad moves out and I turn it into a guest room/craft studio.  With touches of coral and some whimsical geometric prints it will fit in nicely with the “Midcentury chic” look I am starting to put together.

BEFORE

AFTER

Some fabric inspirations for this future room design

I painted Spencer’s room one weekend while he was out of town.  I only painted the top half of the wall b/c the bottom half will be getting a treatment of bead board.  I love the look of it and think it will work nicely to protect the walls from a growing boy’s toys and grimy extremities.  I chose a dark grey color that went nicely with a piece of graffiti art I had made for him when he was a baby, and that will grow with him.  I also think it will pop when all the white bead board is in there.

Spencer's Room waiting for bead board and crown molding...

The hallway was a dilemma.  I LOVE the color I put up in the living room and wanted something different and bright because it is what you see right when you walk into the house.  It was early spring when I was choosing the color and I fell in love with the color of the newly growing grass.  SO I went to my Benjamin Moore store (the only place I buy paint) and pulled some paint chips…I taped them to the already painted living room wall and stared at it in all different lights for probably 3 weeks.  I narrowed it down to 3 colors and purchased them in samples so I could paint them on the wall they would go on and see them IRL.  I didn’t like any of them.  So I went back and repeated the paint chip process.  I FINALLY settled on a color and painted it the same weekend I did Spencer’s room.  Let’s just say I am glad it is the hallway and easy to redo.  While I like the color, it just never seemed “right”.  It didn’t flow with the other colors, so while doing a little online browsing I saw a baby’s room that had been done in coral and soft grey.  That’s when I knew that the hall way should have been coral.  It would work well with the honeydew green in the living room and flow well with the grays and blues of the bedrooms.  Now to decide on a shade of coral…to be continued.

It just doesn't work.